


try a little tenderness

by wendywrites



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2284695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendywrites/pseuds/wendywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jinyoung and Jaebum have know each other since they were children and their marriage has been arranged ever since they were teenagers, but, even with years to get used to it, Jinyoung can't help but he bitter that he didn't have a choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	try a little tenderness

Jinyoung tries to tell himself that it could be worse, that he could be getting bound to a complete stranger twice his age rather than a childhood friend, but he still has to force his smile for the pictures. Having a few fun play dates when they were younger isn’t the best basis for a marriage, but their parents, long-time friends, have wanted to marry off their children to each other, and he and Jaebum happen to be the most compatible. Jinyoung just wishes he had been allowed to decide that for himself.

Jaebum has always seemed much older to Jinyoung than he actually is, but today he looks so painfully young. He dyed his hair black and isn’t wearing any of his usual piercing, and there’s a hopeful look in his eyes that just won’t die. Jinyoung has never felt uneasy around Jaebum before, but, as they walk down the aisle as a married couple, he feels his stomach churning.

He doesn’t drink much, but he sits through the reception, with all its speeches and cheers and music and food, feeling light-headed and disoriented. Before he knows it they’re being pushed into a car and sent off to the house that they will call their own. It’s a wedding present from Jaebum’s parents. Jaebum is showing him around, stopping outside the door that he calls ‘their room’, and he just can’t anymore.

“Jaebum, I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” He looks confused.

“This marriage, I just can’t. I thought I could do it, but I was wrong.” Jinyoung buries his face in his hands, massaging his eyes and taking deep breaths. Eventually he opens his eyes to see Jaebum looking even younger than before with hurt and disappointment painted all over his face.

“Oh, I see. Well, there are at least three more rooms you could use for yourself,” he says in a thin voice, gesturing to the other end of the hallway.

“Thanks,” Jinyoung breathes before he rushes down the hallway and locks himself inside the first room he gets to. It’s a nursery. He scrambles out and heads into another room. It’s sparsely decorated, but it isn’t a nursery, it’s got a bed, and he doesn’t have to share it with Jaebum so it’ll do. He slides down the door to sit on the floor and he tries to meditate to calm himself down.

“Jinyoung,” he hears Jaebum’s voice through the door.

“Yes?” He yelps.

“Can we talk?” Jinyoung wants to yell, ‘No!’ and barricade himself inside the room forever, but he gets up and cracks the door open.

“Um, I can see you’re still really shaken up so I’ll make it quick. I just want to say that I’m not, I’m not a bastard. I won’t make you…do anything you don’t want to do. Do you understand what I mean?” Jinyoung’s gaze unconsciously shifts towards the nursery and he shudders.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. I won’t ever…I mean, unless you want to. But not until then,” Jaebum stutters with red cheeks.

“What if I never want to?” Jinyoung doesn’t mean to say it out loud but he can’t unsay it now that it’s been said. Jaebum winces and looks down.

“Then we never will,” he mumbles before turning away and going into what was intended to be their shared bedroom.

 

Breakfast the next morning is such an awkward affair that Jinyoung regrets leaving his room to soothe his empty stomach. Jaebum keeps attempting to make small talk, as if he can just pretend that everything’s alright, that they didn’t just make a huge commitment to each other in front of all their family that Jinyoung didn’t immediately confess he couldn’t keep.

“Sorry I have to run out when we just…Things picked up so much at work right before the wedding that I won’t be able to get any time off for a while. Well, later then.” Jaebum hesitates before he reaches out and pats Jinyoung’s shoulder. Jinyoung doesn’t flinch, but he does tense up, and Jaebum immediately removes his hand. “Okay, bye,” he says dejectedly before he leaves at last.

After that painful first morning, Jaebum seems to have gotten the hint, because he lets Jinyoung have his space. He makes no attempt to have them eat together anymore, he doesn’t ask Jinyoung how his day was, and he takes care so that they’re never in the same room at the same time for long. Jinyoung doesn’t know how much longer he can live like this.

 

  
Although Jinyoung has done his level best to avoid being alone with Jaebum for the past month, even he has noticed how much more the other man has been drinking lately. Before, he had only ever seen Jaebum drink for special occasions-like their wedding reception-and he had never seen the other man drink to the point of passing out, but now it happens several times a week.

Jinyoung tries to tell himself that he doesn’t care when sees the older man curled up on the sofa in the living room with an empty bottle clutched in his hand. Still, he can’t help but rush out of the safety of his room when he hears the breaking of glass and a pained cry..

“Jabeum! Are you alright?” The older man is on his hands and knees, a small pool of blood is collecting beneath one hand; Jinyoung spots a broken bottle of soju beside it. “Shit!”

He rips his shirt and pushes Jaebum until he is sitting up, hastily tying the makeshift bandage around his hand to stem the bleeding. He grabs Jaebum’s uninjured hands and presses it over the wound.

“Keep your hand right here while I go get the first aid kit, okay? I’ll be right back, but you need to do this. Answer me, Jaebum.”

“Alright,” he slurs. Jinyoung nods and rushes off to get the first aid kit from the bathroom.

“This is going to hurt, but I need to clean the wound so it doesn’t get infected. Luckily for you, it doesn’t seem like you got any glass inside it,” Jinyoung says upon his return. Maybe the alcohol he drank is numbing the pain because Jaebum barely reacts to the burn of the antiseptic.

“Why have you been drinking so much anyway?” Jinyoung doesn’t really mean to ask, it kind of slips out, but he can’t deny his curiosity any longer.

“No reason,” Jaebum mumbles.

“You can’t seriously expect me to believe that,” Jinyoung says with a deep frown. “Tell me the truth,” he insists.

“It’s, it’s everything. To prepare me to take over the company, my father has been increasing my responsibilities at work. There are a lot of people who are sceptical about me having such a high rank in the company at my age, and so he’s been having me do the work of three people and stressing how much I need to succeed to silence them and ensure the company’s continued progress. The client I’m dealing with is particularly hellish; he doesn’t listen to any of my suggestions and then gets angry with me when he doesn’t get the results he wants. And that’s just work.”

Jinyoung’s mouth falls open and eyes widen the longer Jaebum talks. He had no idea that things were so difficult for the other man. Jaebum runs his uninjured hand through his hair and tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling.

“When my father’s not running me ragged at work, he’s pestering me about when I plan to get you pregnant and produce an heir.” At this Jinyoung swallows hard, unconsciously holding tighter to Jaebum’s other hand.

“I keep telling him that it doesn’t always happen right away, that we’re trying and we’re young still and have a lot of time for that, but he won’t rest until there’s a new name on the family registry.”

“That’s…a whole lot. I’m sorry things are so hard for you,” Jinyoung says, and he means it. However bitter he feels about his situation, he doesn’t really hold any animosity towards Jaebum.

“Drinking this much all the time isn’t going to make your situation any better though. There’s no simple solution for your problem, so I don’t really know what to tell you, but I do know that this isn’t it.”

Jaebum finally lowers his head to look at him. Jinyoung feels a twinge of pain for the other man; he’s never seen him look so exhausted and pathetic. It’s like he’s been emotionally eviscerated. He opens his mouth to console him? Apologise? He’s not totally sure, but then he feels his body being pulled forward to meet a hard chest and a soft pair of lips.

Jinyoung freezes. This is the exact moment he has been dreading from the beginning. He should have known that Jaebum was full of shit. ‘Not until you want to’, ha! What a lie! The worst part about it is that his own body is betraying him. His mind is screaming for Jinyoung to raise his arms and push Jaebum away but his body just relaxes, shivering slightly at Jaebum’s arm wrapping itself around his waist. Now he’s going to be pushed on his back so Jaebum can alleviate himself of one less thing so his dad won’t-

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Jaebum mumbles while pulling away, hand lifting to cover his mouth. Jinyoung gapes at him with wide eyes, but Jaebum won’t look at him. “Thanks for bandaging my hand.” He raises it in a kind of salute and staggers to his feet.

Jinyoung thinks he’s going to walk away without saying anything else, but Jaebum pauses at the entrance to the hallway.

“Next time, if there is a next time, I’d prefer if you ignored me. Keep doing things like this and I might start to think that you actually care about me. Good night.”

Jinyoung wants to reply to that, doesn’t want to let Jaebum have the last word, but he’s too struck by the disappointment and bitterness in Jaebum’s voice. He’s not sure how long he remains sitting on the floor of the living room, but he gets up when his legs start to cramp. He’s about to go back to his room when he notices the blood stained shards of glass still on the floor. He walks towards the kitchen to get a broom, but then stops.

‘Are you really that eager to play the role of his wife? You’ve already cleaned up one of Jaebum’s messes tonight, and that’s one more than you should have cleaned up.’

Perhaps it’s petty, but he goes back to his room and tries to calm his nerves by reading a book. Jaebum might be going through a hard time, but he has no right to be bitter with him, Jinyoung thinks as he burns a hole in the page. He spends the rest of the night glaring at four pages before he eventually falls asleep.

In his dreams, he plays the role of Sleeping Beauty, wandering around a castle that looks like Jaebum’s home, until he finds a large pile of broken glass hidden away in a cupboard. In his enchanted haze, he lifts his index finger and pricks it on a protruding shard.

 

When Jinyoung goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth the next morning, he spots a note taped to the mirror.

‘Jinyoung, I just want to apologise for my appalling behaviour last night. No matter how stressed I am, it still doesn’t compare to the situation you’re in. I meant it when I said I wouldn’t force you, I’m sorry I gave you reason to doubt that promise. And you’re right; I have been drinking too much. I hope you have a good day. -Jaebum’

Jinyoung sighs a bit, his emotions so mixed up that he doesn’t know how he truly feels.

 

  
“So, how has married life been treating my youngest baby?” His mother chirps as soon as he picks up the phone.

“It’s been great, Jaebum is great.” He’s surprised at how easily the lie comes, how much less it feels like a lie to him each time they have this conversation. He and Jaebum weren’t at war before, but they seem to have come to an unspoken truce anyway; Jinyoung starts having dinner with him and he makes small talk about how his day went, and Jaebum somehow wheedles his father into allowing Jinyoung to use one of the family cars so he can escape the confines of the house.

“I’m so glad to hear it. I knew you and he would be a good match since the day you first met. You were only children, but he doted on you so much and you clung to him just as much. You looked like you wanted to cry when we had to leave,” she laughs.

Now that she says it, he does vaguely remember running around the botanical garden at Jaebum’s parents’ house. Jaebum was reluctant to do anything that could get his clothes dirty at first, but he caved to Jinyoung’s requests and was covered in grass stains by lunchtime.

“You know that I only want you to be happy, right? You seemed so nervous at the bonding ceremony, but I’m so glad to hear that was just wedding jitters.” Jinyoung swallows the lump in his chest. It’s ultimately not doing either of them any favours by lying, but he can’t very well tell her the truth now.

“I know, mum. I love you.”

“I love you too. Well, I just wanted to check on you. I’d ask about when I can expect to have another grandchild to dote on, but it’s fine if you just want to enjoy newlywed life for a while. Everything changes when you have kids.”

“About that, yeah, I would like to just enjoy life with Jaebum, but his dad seems to be pressuring him to produce an heir right away.”

“Oh, that’s so typical of Im Taewon.” Jinyoung can picture her rolling her eyes. “Putting pressure on you kids isn’t just rude it’s counterproductive. Your father and I always knew we wanted three kids, but I only ever seemed to get pregnant when we weren’t concentrating on it.”

“Could you possibly get him to back off?” He doesn’t doubt Jaebum will keep his word, but not having his father breathing down his neck for one thing whould make his life a bit easier.

“Consider it done, my dear. I have to go now, but you should come by for dinner one day. Bring your hubby too.”

“Sure, thing. Bye, mum.”

“Bye, honey.”

 

When Jaebum comes home that night his steps are a lot lighter than they’ve been for the past few weeks, and Jinyoung says as much.

“I’m finally finished with the client from hell, three weeks ahead of schedule, and my dad was much less of a hard-ass after lunch. I wonder which god I have to thank for making that happen,” Jaebum says as he sprawls out on the floor.

“I don’t know who did the former, but the latter was thanks to my mother. She called today and I told her how much of a hard time he was giving you and she said she’d take care of it. She invited us to dinner by the way.”

“I’ll have to get a nice bouquet, a bottle of wine and some chocolates to thank her,” Jaebum sighs happily, closing his eyes. Jinyoung bites his lip.

“She also said we don’t have to hurry and have kids right away, that we should ‘enjoy married life’.” A few months ago he would have spat the words at Jaebum, but now he just feels awkward.

“Good, that buys me a few years at least,” Jaebum mumbles, sounding like he’s about to fall asleep.

“Yeah, but what do we do when that time passes, as it eventually will.”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Like what?”

“I could just tell them that something is preventing us from conceiving.”

“What if they don’t believe it? What if they want proof, have us tested and find out we’re lying? They’ll only let that excuse fly for so long.” Jinyoung can feel his pulse increasing as he heart hammers away in his chest.

“What do you want me to say, Jinyoung?” Jaebum finally opens his eyes.

“I don’t know!” Jinyoung pulls at his own hair.

“At the end of the day they can’t make me impregnate you, can’t lock me up if I refuse to do it.”

“They’ll blame me though,” Jinyoung says miserably. “They’ll say I displeased you.”

“Jinyoung.” He waits for the rest of Jaebum’s sentence, but is met only with silence. He looks up to see Jaebum sitting up with his arms open. It’s not a command, but he feels a pull on his navel drawing his body towards Jaebum anyway.

As soon as Jaebum’s arms wrap him up in an embrace, Jinyoung feels his body begin to relax. He can count on one hand the number of occasions where they’ve been this close, but somehow the embrace feels familiar and safe. The longer he stays there breathing in Jaebum’s scent is the more at ease he feels. When Jaebum finally pulls away, Jinyoung’s first impulse is to grab his shirt to stop him, but he’s too late.

“Whatever else happens, I won’t just stand back and let anyone sling mud at you. They’ll have to hit me to get to you, okay?” Jinyoung nods. “Did your mother say when we could come for dinner? I’m craving something home-cooked right now,” Jaebum yawns.

“She didn’t, but she may have made extra food tonight just in case we dropped by.”

“Do you mind driving? I’d probably fall asleep at the wheel,” Jaebum smiles sheepishly, and Jinyoung is appalled with himself for finding it cute.

“Yeah, sure, I’d love to.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Jaebum gets up and stretches, and his top rides up to expose smooth skin and a trail of dark hair. Jinyoung quickly averts his eyes. Jaebum holds out a hand to pull him up. Jinyoung hesitates for a bit before he accepts it.

“Lead the way,” Jaebum says sleepily, still holding Jinyoung’s hand. Jinyoung surprises himself by not shaking it off. He leads them to the front door, where they put on their shoes before they head to the car port and are on their way. Jaebum puts his chair back and dozes on the way there. Jinyoung stares at him out of the corner of his eye. At the next red light, he checks to see that he’s asleep before he reaches out his right hand to loosely hold Jaebum’s.

 

  
“Cheers to the happy couple! I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” Jinyoung’s eldest sister gushes.

“Neither can I, honestly.”

What’s really got him surprised isn’t how fast the time went, but how much easier the passing of the days feel. In the days leading up to the wedding, Jinyoung used to wake up covered in a cold sweat, panting like he just ran a marathon. The night before he hardly got any sleep at all and his dark circles had to be covered under a thick layer of concealer. After the wedding, he used to be wound tight as piano wire in anticipation of the moment Jaebum finally knocked on his door and told him it was time to do their duty. He’s still not the blushing bride his sisters were after their weddings, but he’s definitely not miserable.

“Mum would pinch me if she heard me saying this, but I’m surprised you two haven’t had a new addition yet.” Even with his mother’s incredibly effective gag order, Jinyoung expected someone to crack.

“We’re just enjoying newlywed life right now.” That line sounds less and less like a lie to his own ears the more he says it. He and Jaebum still don’t act like a newlywed couple, but they have relaxed around each other to the point that they’ve become friends.

“Yes, yes, but I’m surprised you’ve managed not to have any accidents, you know? He looks at you like you hung the moon in the sky; you must do it all the time.”

“Noona!” He gasps, feeling his ears burn.

“What? You’re a married man now,” she grins and winks slyly. He swallows a generous amount of wine instead of replying to that. He’s spared by any more embarrassing talk by his sister’s wife coming to tell her it’s getting late and they should be going.

“You ‘enjoy newlywed life’, then,” she calls over her shoulder as she leaves. Jinyoung waves her off.

When the rest of their guests have gone and Jinyoung and Jaebum are left alone, one thought that has been worming its way around his mind for several months finally has his undivided attention.

“Jaebum?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you in love with me?”

Jaebum gapes at him with his mouth open. Then he snaps it shut and stares down at the low table in front of him, fingers drilling at the surface. Jinyoung says nothing, waiting for a verbal response. The silence stretches on so long that Jinyoung starts to think that they’re both going to be sitting at this table until the sun rises.

“Yes,” Jaebum finally says, looking up at him at last.

“How long?” Jinyoung whispers. He expects the answer to that to take just as long if not longer, but Jaebum takes a deep breath and replies right away.

“Since we were sixteen I think.” Jinyoung feels his eyebrows jump to his forehead. It’s been that long?

“I over heard my parents talking to your parents one day about the possibility of marrying the two of us. I must admit I didn’t immediately jump for joy, but the next time you came for dinner I spent like an hour trying to figure out what to wear. I wanted to impress you so much, make you think I was cool.” Jinyoung does remember how weird Jaebum was acting at the dinners they had right after his parents told him they were betrothed. He thought Jaebum’s constant shifting of his arms and shoulders was him trying to ease a cramp, but it seems it was part of a display.

“No sixteen year old boy is in a rush to get married but I didn’t mind so much if it was you. And we had years to get used to the idea of it. I thought-I hoped you might come around by the time, but…” he trails off.

“So why did you go through with it?” It’s not a judgement, he also said ‘I do’ despite harbouring reservations of his own, but he is curious.

“I guess I thought I was protecting you,” Jaebum shrugs. “Your parents would never intentionally set you up with someone who’d abuse you, but some people are good at hiding it. I guess I thought that even if you didn’t love me back, you wouldn’t have to worry about that. I was young and stupid, really.”

“I don’t regret it,” Jinyoung blurts out the words. Jaebum’s eyebrows jump in surprise. “I don’t regret marrying you,” Jinyoung says more confidently. Jaebum blinks hard a few times.

“Good to hear. Anyway, I should get to sleep. Happy anniversary,” Jaebum lifts his half empty glass and downs the rest of the wine.

“Good night, Jaebum.” They hug briefly before Jaebum ambles towards his bedroom, leaving Jinyoung alone with his thoughts.

Would it really be so terrible to fall in love with Jaebum? Jinyoung might very well have developed feelings for him on his own if they had been allowed to grow organically, if he hadn’t been put off by the idea of being married to him, being owned by him without having any say in the matter. But, now that they’ve crossed that bridge, maybe Jinyoung should consider it.

He likes Jaebum, enjoys his company, and, from the way he’s caught himself eyeing the other man, he’s definitely attracted to him, so why not just take that last step?

Jinyoung sighs deeply before downing the last of his wine and heading to bed. He pauses in the hallway for a minute before he finally heads off to the bedroom. He opens the door carefully and creeps inside, trying to be as quiet as possible. He strips off his clothes, letting them carelessly drop on the floor before he’s climbing into bed.

“Wha?” Jaebum mumbles sleepily as Jinyoung settles against his back.

“Don’t talk, don’t move, just…just let me try something, okay?” Jinyoung says lowly.

“’kay,” Jaebum mumbles before he nestles back into his pillow and drifts off. Jinyoung rubs his chest against the skin of his back as he throws an arm around the other’s waist. Jinyoung would be unsettled by how at peace he feels if he weren’t already falling asleep.

 

Jinyoung wakes the next morning to the steady sound of the drumming of a heartbeat. He opens his eyes to see Jaebum blinking sleepily while staring at him.

“Sleep well?” Jaebum’s voice is thick with sleep.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung nods.

“I have to get up for work now,” Jaebum reluctantly says.

“Oh okay.”

“Uh, you need to let me go,” Jaebum says, sounding slightly amused. Jinyoung looks down to see his arms locked tightly around the other man.

“Oh, sorry,” he mumbles, feeling embarrassed.

“It’s not a problem,” Jaebum says while getting up. Jinyoung closes his eyes and tries to go back to sleep, but sleep doesn’t come. He doesn’t feel like getting up yet though, so he sprawls out on Jaebum’s bed as he watches him dress for work.

“By the way, I talked to my dad last night, and he said I could get a week off before we start working with our next big client. Have you thought about where you’d want us to go?”

Jaebum is careful not to call it a ‘honeymoon’, but that word keeps echoing in Jinyoung’s mind.

“How about London? I know you’ve been before, but that was just a business trip. You probably didn’t see any of the actual city, did you?” He deliberately picks a city that isn’t renowned for romance. ‘Let’s go to London’ has a much different feel to it than ‘Let’s go to Paris’.

“No, I didn’t. Really, anywhere is fine for me, so long as it’s far away from work,” Jaebum groans tiredly.

“Alright, I’m off.” Jinyoung sits up to hug him goodbye. On a whim, he turns slightly to kiss Jaebum’s cheek. It seems Jaebum had the same idea because their lips meet briefly.

“Okay, well, later.” Jaebum pulls away and is out the door in a flash. Jinyoung blinks and licks away the phantom trace of Jaebum on his lips.

 

  
“Why’d you have to pick such a rainy city?” Jaebum asks for the fifth time as they take shelter from the rain in a café. “Ugh, this jacket is supposed to be waterproof, why is my shirt wet?”

“Oh, stop bellyaching, it’s just water. You’ll be dry again by the time we finish eating.”

Jinyoung pulls him further inside and finds them a table by the window.  
Jaebum leaves him there and goes to place their orders, two coffees and two muffins. They haven’t eaten much all day due to Jinyoung’s almost militant approach to visiting tourist attractions, but he insisted they take advantage of the excellent room service menu and eat dinner at the hotel.

“So, what’s the last thing on our agenda?” he asks as he brings their snack.

“The London Eye, of course.”

“But we went this morning,” Jaebum frowns.

“Yes, we saw the city view during the day, but of course I want to see it at night.”

“Of course,” Jaebum snorts in amusement. Jinyoung swats at his hand and steals a piece of his muffin in retaliation.

In the end, Jaebum has to admit that Jinyoung has a method to his madness. The view was nice in the daylight, but it’s simply gorgeous at night. Still, he can’t help but find his eyes shifting from the view outside to the view inside.

The deep violet of the sky is nothing compared to the slick darkness of Jinyoung’s hair, still damp with rainwater; the bright lights of the buildings in the city pale compared to the sparkling of Jinyoung’s eyes; the soft haze created by the light reflecting in the River Thames is nothing compared to the softness of the lips Jaebum has now kissed thrice.

‘Stop it.’ Jaebum pinches himself, shaking his head to rid it of those thoughts. He and Jinyoung have come a long way since their wedding day, but it does himself no good to dwell on thoughts like that; it’ll only make him start yearning for things he can’t have.

“Aren’t you glad we came back for this view? Talk about a sight for sore eyes,” Jinyoung says, eyes on the city.

“Yeah, I am glad,” Jaebum says, eyes on Jinyoung.

 

Back at the hotel, Jaebum towels his hair dry as he watches a game show on television as he waits for Jinyoung to come out of the bathroom. It’s their last night in London before they have to head back to Seoul and he’s missing the city already, even if it rains too much. He feels like he’s managed to get a bit closer to Jinyoung after seeing him in a foreign environment, like he understands him a little more. With the way the other man has started teasing him, he hopes Jinyoung is becoming more comfortable with him.

“How much of that do you understand anyway?” Jinyoung asks as he enters the living room suite and sits beside Jaebum on the sofa.

“I haven’t been paying too much attention to it, honestly, but from what I’ve seen, the aim of the game is to come up with a correct answer to a question that no-one in a survey of 100 people has thought of.”

“That sounds kind of pointless,” Jinyoung says with a wrinkled nose.

“Yes, exactly,” Jaebum nods.

“So, you ready to go back to work?”

“Ugh, no, not at all. I really envy you being able to stay at home.”

“It’s not because I want to,” Jinyoung mumbles, looking away. Jaebum could kick himself for spoiling everything with his careless comment.

“Ah, right.” The noise from the television notwithstanding, the room feels eerily silent.

“What would you have done if you were able to? What do you like to do?”

“It’s kind of stupid,” Jinyoung says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I doubt it, but I won’t laugh even if it is.”

“Well I like to sing, so maybe I’d be a singer. But I also really like acting. I think I could be a great actor in another life,” Jinyoung says softly.

“I’ve never heard you sing, but if your face when you tried your niece’s cake is anything to go by, I think it’s better that you didn’t end up an actor,” Jaebum says with an amused smile. There’s a moment where Jinyoung freezes and he worries that he’s overestimated their standing, but then Jinyoung kicks at his leg and grabs the towel off his neck before whipping him with it.

“My niece thought it tasted good, so that was a success. I wasn’t even bringing my ‘A’ game that day anyway.”

“Alright, alright, I take it back,” he laughs. “Uh, it’s kinda sudden, but you mind singing something for me?”

“Yeah, why not?” While Jinyoung hums and clears his throat, Jaebum hunts down the remote and switches off the television.

“Alright, no laughing.”

“No laughing,” Jaebum promises.

Jinyoung closes his eyes and opens his mouth, and the room is filled with the sweet, soulful sound of his singing. Jaebum recognises the lyrics that he sings. It’s from a different genre that Jaebum typically likes, but it’s one of Jaebum’s favourite songs. His heart always clenches when the singer pleads for his lost love to come back, and he feels that pain even harder when he hears Jinyoung sing it.

“I will hold onto the remaining scent. So come back to your place.”

Jaebum half feels like applauding and half feels like crying, but he does neither; he just stares up at the other man in awe.

“Well, did you like it?” Jinyoung coughs nervously.

“I loved it,” Jaebum says softly.

“So, my singing is better than my acting, eh?” He asks with a smile.

“Yeah, definitely.” Jaebum leans back until his is resting head against the back of the sofa.

“Hey, Jaebum?” Jinyoung copies his movement.

“Yes, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung stares at him for so long that Jaebum is about to ask him again, when he’s cut off by a pair of soft lips.

Holy shit!

He can’t believe it’s actually happening. For a minute he seriously wonders if he fell asleep while waiting for Jinyoung to talk and is now having a very lucid dream.

“I’m not even gonna lie, I thought there’d be a lot more enthusiasm on your part. Or, you know, any kind of reaction at all,” Jinyoung chuckles lightly.

“Uhhhh,” Jaebum blinks at a mile a minute, unable to make his tongue work well enough to form real words.

“Since you’re so cute, I’ll choose to be flattered by that,” Jinyoung says primly before he presses his lips back to Jaebum’s and climbs into his lap. Jesus Christ.

“Jinyoung, I meant what I said, you don’t have to-”

“Shut. Up,” Jinyoung says between kisses. Jaebum’s own hands betray him, reaching up to hold Jinyoung more firmly in his lap instead of lifting him off.

“I don’t want to rush you,” he insists when his tongue is free again.

“We’ve been married a year, it’s hardly rushing,” Jinyoung snorts. Jaebum hesitates.

“This is what you want, right?”

“Im Jaebum, I swear to god-”

“Alright, alright, I was just making sure,” Jaebum says before he hoists Jinyoung up and carries him into the bedroom.

The night before their wedding, Jaebum had stayed up half the night fretting about this very moment. Being raised by conservative parents who started shopping for a spouse for him before he even knew what puberty was didn’t leave him much opportunities for getting in sexual experiences. Jinyoung shouldn’t be any more experienced than him, so it wasn’t like the other man had a long list of past lovers for him to be compared with and fall short of, but still. He’s surprised at how at ease he feels now that they’re actually at this point.

“Oh shit. Shit!” Jaebum eases himself off Jinyoung and pounds the mattress in frustration.

“What is it?” Jinyoung asks with furrowed brows, hair messed up from Jaebum’s hands creating tracks through it.

“I don’t have a condom,” Jaebum moans.

“…Really?”

“Ahh! I can’t believe this!” Jaebum throws himself backwards on the bed.

For a moment, he and Jinyoung just lie there, side by side, staring at the ceiling.

“Thinking about, I guess I’d actually rather it happen back at home in our room anyway,” Jinyoung says and Jaebum grins so widely it threatens to split his face in two. Hearing Jinyoung call it ‘home’ and ‘our’ room makes it that much more real. After a rocky start, they’re finally here. Jaebum is so excited that he doesn’t know how he’ll sleep tonight.

“But, there are things I wouldn’t mind doing here,” Jinyoung drawls. Before Jaebum can ask what he means, Jinyoung has his bowers pulled down and has his mouth wrapped around the tip of his cock.

“Oh. Oh! Ohhhh!”

 

That blowjob was simultaneously the worst and best thing that’s ever happened to Jaebum. He would have enjoyed whatever Jinyoung did to him, simply because Jinyoung was the one doing it, but he was really perceptive at picking up on what actions made each and every cell in Jaebum’s body crying out in pleasure. But now that he’s tasted heaven, he resents having to wait to experience it again.

The eleven hour flight in particular tested the limits of his patience. Jinyoung somehow managed to be asleep for most of it, but Jaebum was awake for every agonising second. That was probably for the best, God only knows what he’d dream of, and the last thing he wants to do is give the air hostesses the legend of the chaebol heir who had a wet dream and had to keep on cum stained underwear for the rest of the flight. He instead tried to keep himself sane but completely dulling his senses with mini bottles of vodka. Jaebum had resolved to Jinyoung not to try to solve his problems with alcohol, but this was an emergency situation.

At Incheon airport, he was surprised to see his mother waiting there for them. He had planned on having a taxi drop them home right away, but his mother wanted to take her time and talk about what they saw and what they did and what they ate. He can see Jinyoung shaking with suppressed laughter in his peripheral vision and it makes him want to strangle him, as much as he loves him.

“Mother, please. Could we possibly chat at some other time? Jinyoung and I had…plans,” he finishes lamely.

“Plans?” she asks with a raised eyebrow. Jaebum gestures helplessly. She glances between her son and her son-in-law and Jaebum can see the instant she figures it out.

“Oh my, already? Didn’t you have enough in London? It’s a wonder Jinyoung isn’t fat with a child yet.” Jinyoung finally give sup on hiding his laughter and Jaebum wants to die.

The bright side of enduring that indignity is that they get home that much faster.

“Come on,” Jaebum grabs Jinyoung by the hand and runs to their room the second the door closes behind them; he barely manages to get off their shoes.

He was in such a rush to get here, but now that they’ve made it, he pauses outside the door.

“You’re sure, right?” He can’t help but ask one more time. Jinyoung doesn’t laugh or roll his eyes like he expects, he just holds Jaebum by the cheeks and pulls him down for a kiss.

“I’m sure.”

Jinyoung opens the door and pulls them both inside. Jinyoung pulls off his shirt and jeans until he’s left in just his boxers, and Jaebum follows his lead. Jinyoung sits down on the edge of the bed and gestures for Jaebum to come over. Once he’s within arm’s length, Jinyoung pulls him down for another kiss, pulling him on top of his body. As they kiss, Jinyoung scoots up the bed, until he lays his head down on Jaebum’s pillow with Jaebum kneeling over him.

“Let’s get these off,” Jinyoung says softly before he’s kicking off his underwear. Jaebum can’t help but to take a moment to drink in the sight beneath him. Jinyoung naked and willing, lying with his legs spread slightly, one hand lightly fondling himself, the other coyly covering his face.

“Tell me to do it,” Jaebum says in a frail voice. Jinyoung lifts his hand to his face and pulls him down.

“Jaebum…fuck me,” Jinyoung whispers into his ear. Jaebum captures Jinyoung’s lips in a fierce kiss as he rips off his underwear. He wanted to stretch this out a bit, but agonisingly slow lovemaking is going to have to come later.

Jaebum pulls away from Jinyoung’s mouth just long enough to get a condom from his bedside table and put it on. Then he’s lifting one of Jinyoung’s legs as he eases himself inside.

“Ah, shit.” It’s tighter and warmer than Jinyoung’s mouth and Jaebum can feel Jinyoung’s walls clench as Jaebum’s cock is welcomed inside. He keeps pushing inside until he bottoms out, at which point he huffs like he just ran a marathon.

“Come on, Jaebum,” Jinyoung wraps his legs around Jaebum’s waist and digs his fingernails into his back. Jaebum grips Jinyoung’s hip with one hand and holds himself up for leverage with the other before he’s thrusting with gusto.

“Oh, fuck yes!” Jaebum’s senses are numb to anything that’s not Jinyoung. All he can feel are Jinyoung’s walls clenching his cock, Jinyoung’s hands gripping his back and neck, Jinyoung’s breath puffing against his mouth. All he can smell is a mix of Jinyoung’s shampoo and his musk. All he can hear is Jinyoung’s moaning and whimpering. All he can taste is Jinyoung as their mouths crash together. Jinyoung, Jinyoung, Jinyoung.

“Ah, Jinyoung!” Jaebum hammers into him a few more times before he’s clenching his eyes shut and shaking, his leg seizing up as he collapses onto Jinyoung. He has enough presence of mind to slide off him and wrap his hand around the other man, bringing him to climax with a few pumps.

“Jaebum, ah!

He feels Jinyoung shake beside him before he too stills, dazed and sated. Jaebum feels like he’s been hit by a train and he’s wired to feel pleasure instead of pain. Or something.

Jaebum can’t keep himself away from Jinyoung too long. He can barely co-ordinate his body to move the way he wants it to, but he manages to wiggle his way to Jinyoung and wrap the man up in his arms.

“I love you,” he whispers. Jinyoung doesn’t say it back, but he plants a sweet kiss on his lips, and Jaebum can live with that.

 

  
It’s kind of interesting to see how much Jaebum has changed since they had sex. Jinyoung expected him to be more physical, but he thought it would be for more sex, not cuddles. That’s not to say Jaebum doesn’t want sex anymore, but he seems to crave affection more.

He holds Jinyoung closer and kisses him before he leaves for work, his hand reaches for Jinyoung’s when they watch television together, and he always has at least one arm around Jinyoung whenever they’re at social events. He can see more than a few people not-so-subtly throwing glances at his abdomen, as if to see the exact moment it will start protruding. His sister at least has the spine to ask him upfront.

“So, are you preggers, yet?” she whispers conspiratorially to him, pulling him to a secluded corner. “Should you even be drinking that?” she gestures to his glass of wine.

“No, I’m not pregnant, so I can drink whatever I want.” Jinyoung punctuates his statement with a long pull of his drink. He doesn’t even really like wine, but he takes satisfaction at the pout on his sister’s face.

“So, when are you going to spawn? I have money riding on this, Jinyoung. Do you want your favourite sister to be broke?” Jinyoung laughs so loud, he draws a few glances their way.

“Oh, here you are.” Jinyoung hears Jaebum’s smile before he sees it. “Jinyoungie, your mother’s been looking for you.” Jinyoung takes the opportunity to shrug off his sister and escape.

“You know, I’m tempted to push out a kid right now if it’ll make people stop being so damn nosey about it,” Jinyoung mutters to him as they walk away

“You couldn’t do that now even if you wanted to,” Jaebum chuckles.

“I’m about to try.” Jaebum opens his mouth but stops short and turns his head away.

“What is it?” he asks, but then he hears it.

“It’s been almost two years and still no heir. Their match was supposed to be a perfect one, what’s happened? Did Park Jinyoung pull off the coup of the decade and successfully manage to sell off a defective runt to Im Taewon’s heir?”

Jinyoung feels all the blood suddenly drain from his face and he’s so light headed that he could faint.

“Hwayoung-noona, look after him please.” Jinyoung feels his body being directed back to his sister before Jaebum walks off.

“Excuse me. May I have you attention please?” Jinyoung sees Jaebum standing on the stage next to the band with a microphone in hand.

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt your evening, but I’ve just overheard something that’s ruined mine. I’d like to direct your attention to Lee Minhyung and Seo Yoonjae standing over to my left.” Jaebum gestures and a light from the stage shines on two identically pale faces.

“I happened to overhear these two men making very unseemly comments about my beloved husband, the likes of which I won’t repeat. At this time, I’d like to ask security to permanently escort these men from the premises. I’d also like to take the time to remind the rest of you to keep any unnecessary comments you’d like to make about my husband and/or the nature of our relationship deep inside your empty heads. Thank you.”

Jaebum descends the stage and the band resumes playing serene classical music, but there’s a definite tension in the air.

“You shouldn’t have made such a scene,” Jinyoung says as soon as Jaebum comes back.

“Nonsense, they got exactly what they deserved. Name them and shame them is the way to go. Well done, Jaebum. I see my baby brother is in good hands. And speaking of babies…”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes before he walks off to find his mother. He’s never been more thankful for Jaebum’s steady arm wrapped around his back.

 

  
Jinyoung doesn’t know what’s got him so nervous, but he waits until the very last moment to do it. He can tell from Jaebum’s breathing that the other man is almost asleep, and so he gathers up all his courage before he opens his mouth.

“I love you,” he whispers into the darkness. For a second he wonders if he left it too late, but then Jaebum is pulling him in for a kiss and Jinyoung feels a tear that’s not his slide down his face.

“I love you so much, Jinyoung and I couldn’t be happier.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know.” Jinyoung takes Jaebum’s hand and presses it against his belly.

“How many times do I have to say we have lots of time for that?” Jaebum’s voice is full of fond exasperation.

“But it is something you want, right?” Jaebum hesitates. “Right?”

“It is something that I want,” he says slowly, “But it’s not something I need to be happy with you.”

“You wanna know something?”

“What?” Jaebum sounds almost like he’s afraid.

“It’s something I want too. But, not right now.” Jaebum nuzzles his neck and Jinyoung can feel his wide grin.

“Preferably, we should do it so my sister loses her bet.” Jaebum bursts out laughing and Jinyoung smiles at him through the dark.


End file.
